Infertility stigma persists after IVF success

A personal account of ongoing infertility stigma after IVF success and the social costs of openness.

Despite having our miracle baby I still feel infertile

After more than six years of trying, the couple finally conceived via IVF and welcomed a daughter in 2024. They describe dismissive comments from family and strangers who treat infertility as a misfortune to be quickly solved, leaving them feeling misunderstood and ostracised. The piece also notes the social pressure to start a family and the sense of being judged for not meeting that expectation.

Even with a child, the couple continues to face questions about whether the baby is their first or why they are 35 with a newborn. They recount medical professionals asking about contraception despite known infertility, and describe choosing privacy and silent resilience over explaining their biology. They note that the UK infertility rate stands at 1 in 7 couples, a statistic that adds weight to their experience.

The piece exposes how society frames parenthood and treats infertility as a problem to solve rather than a medical challenge. It shows how casual comments can sting and shape a sense of self, even when a baby is in arms. It also highlights a tension in the medical world, where doctors slip into routine questions about contraception when they know infertility is real. The author offers a quiet critique of public dialogue that favors optimism over serious listening, and urges readers to respect private journeys while offering real support.

Highlights

Our conversations should honor private journeys rather than reduce them to questions