Loneliness reshapes self perception in close ties

A U.S. study links loneliness to feeling like a burden in close ties and explores how resting heart rate variability may buffer negative self-views in family contexts.

Loneliness Shapes Self Perceptions in Close Relationships

A study reported in Psychophysiology analyzed 824 adults from the MIDUS project. It found that lonelier individuals tended to rate themselves as contributing less support and causing more strain in both friendships and family relationships. Researchers also measured resting high-frequency heart rate variability (HF-HRV) and observed that those with lower HF-HRV showed a stronger link between loneliness and feeling like a burden in family relationships, while higher HF-HRV appeared to dampen this self-criticism. The effects were modest and did not appear for friendships or perceived support, and the study notes that causality cannot be established from its cross-sectional design.

The findings reframes loneliness as more than a mood—it can become a belief about one’s value in close ties. When loneliness heightens negative self-views, withdrawal can follow, potentially worsening isolation. The possible buffering role of HF-HRV hints at a biology of social resilience, but the small size and the fact that it only showed up in family relationships call for caution and replication. Beyond the lab, the results invite questions about culture, age, and family norms that shape who feels burdensome and why.

Highlights

The path to resilience starts with how we talk to ourselves