Caregiver for wife with early onset Alzheimer's faces daily battles

A husband shares the realities of caring for Nicola after a Young Onset Alzheimer’s diagnosis, revealing daily routines, risks and the emotional strain.

Caregiver for wife with early onset Alzheimer's faces daily battles

Nicola Furness, diagnosed with Young Onset Alzheimer's at 56, is cared for by her husband Paul in Beverly, East Yorkshire. He says the disease has rewritten their daily life, shifting from past challenges like Nicola’s breast cancer to a condition that he describes as the battle they are not going to win. Paul first noticed symptoms in 2019, starting with small forgetful moments and confusion, such as misplacing items, repeating questions and driving past their street. He recalls Nicola getting lost in Primark for nearly two hours due to a confusing layout, a stark glimpse of the disease’s impact on ordinary errands.

The condition now affects most tasks, from cooking and cleaning to shopping and personal hygiene. Paul says he must assist with showering, dressing, brushing teeth and other routines, and that Nicola no longer understands she has the disease. Financial pressures have grown as he cut his work hours to 15.5 per week and faced the costs of their daughters’ education and other life needs. Nicola left work as ill health retired, a status with significant financial impact. Paul has raised about 12,000 pounds for Dementia UK and the Alzheimer’s Society. He finds relief in running and in occasional outings to parks and classes, where Nicola sometimes responds to music by singing and dancing. Loneliness remains a reality for him, as weekend support is hard to arrange and he misses the partner he once knew.

The piece highlights the hidden toll of caring for someone with early onset dementia. It shows how a partner’s health crisis ripples through family finances, work life and mental health, underscoring gaps in practical support like respite care and in-home assistance. It also points to the enduring value of small rituals, music and community activities that can momentarily rekindle connection. Policymakers and service providers should note that when formal support is thin, families bear the burden long term, often at the edge of burnout.

Highlights

Support for carers must grow as dementia care evolves.